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Why Selfish Leadership Isn’t Selfish

Leadership has long been tied to sacrifice. The image of the tireless leader—first in the office, last to leave, giving endlessly—has been romanticised for decades. But this model is broken. It’s time to rethink what it means to lead effectively. Enter Selfish Leadership. It’s not about neglecting others or shirking responsibility; it’s about prioritising yourself so you can lead with clarity, energy, and purpose.

Burnout: The Silent Leadership Crisis

Burnout is rampant in leadership, with studies showing that over 60% of executives report feeling “used up” at the end of the workday. Chronic stress impacts mental clarity, decision-making, and relationships, turning even the most talented leaders into reactionary figures, constantly putting out fires.

I learned this firsthand. Early in my career, I wore my long hours and constant availability like a badge of honour. But behind the scenes, I was exhausted, unfocused, and disengaged. It wasn’t until I reached a breaking point that I realised this approach wasn’t sustainable—for me, my team, or the organisation.

The Ripple Effect of Thriving Leadership

When leaders take care of themselves, everyone benefits. By prioritising your own wellbeing, you create a ripple effect that extends to your team, your organisation, and even your personal relationships. Here’s why:

  1. Clarity in Decision-Making
    Leaders who are well-rested and energised think more strategically and creatively. Instead of reacting impulsively, they pause, reflect, and make choices aligned with long-term goals.
  2. Stronger Team Dynamics
    A leader who models balance and boundaries inspires their team to do the same. This fosters a healthier, more engaged work culture where burnout is replaced by productivity and morale.
  3. Sustainable Success
    Leadership is a marathon, not a sprint. By taking time to recharge, you ensure you have the stamina to lead effectively over the long term.

Reframing “Selfish” as Strategic

The word “selfish” often carries negative connotations. But what if we reframed it as an act of responsibility? A pilot ensures their oxygen mask is secured before assisting others, and a leader must do the same. When you protect your energy, set boundaries, and invest in your growth, you lead from a place of abundance rather than depletion.

Personal Strategies for Selfish Leadership

Here are three strategies I’ve found transformative in my leadership journey:

  1. Setting Boundaries
    Early on, I said “yes” to everything, fearing I’d let others down if I didn’t. Now, I view boundaries as a service to myself and my team. Protecting my time allows me to focus on high-impact tasks and show up fully for the people who matter.
  2. Prioritising Wellbeing
    Skipping meals, sleep, and downtime was once my norm. Now, I treat self-care as non-negotiable. Regular exercise, mindful breaks, and proper rest have become the foundation of my leadership.
  3. Leading with Intention
    Leadership is about quality, not quantity. I’ve learned to prioritise fewer, more meaningful commitments rather than trying to tackle everything at once. This has sharpened my focus and allowed me to align my actions with my values.

The Proof is in the Team

I once managed a team that mirrored my chaotic pace. They worked late, skipped breaks, and often seemed just as drained as I was. When I embraced Selfish Leadership and modelled balance, everything shifted. Team members began setting their own boundaries, openly discussing wellbeing, and even exceeding performance targets because they felt supported and empowered.

Closing Thoughts

Selfish leadership isn’t selfish—it’s essential. By putting yourself first, you create a leadership style rooted in clarity, sustainability, and impact. It’s time to leave behind the myth of sacrifice and embrace a new paradigm where thriving leaders create thriving teams.

So, what’s one thing you’ll do today to prioritise yourself as a leader?

https://garyparsons.uk

A Leadership Mental Health Advocate and Inspirational Speaker, Gary works with businesses and leadership teams to break the stigma and begin prioritising their own mental health and wellbeing. Reach out today to discover how Gary can support your team in cultivating a culture of wellbeing and effective leadership.

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